i.m. the five foot assasin
Honeybear don’t care. Facepalm
your first world problems.
‘Do you even lift annoying girl?’
Tag a workmate who knows
Chuck Norris puts the laughter
in manslaughter. A Navy Seal
copies pasta for his overly
Bad luck Brian, haters gonna hate.
Brace yourself. The 6 o’clock news
says winter is coming and
Brent Rambo approves.
I hate sandcastles, homophobic
seals and archaic rap
because I’m the most interesting
man in the world and ain’t nobody
got time for that.
Cash me ousside. Howbow dah?
Techno Viking, Success Kid,
Insanity Wolf and Nice Guy Greg
turn out for Glorious Leader 2:
but that’s none of my business.
Condescending Wonka says
‘Hide the pain Harold,
capitalism is the root of all evil.’
Yes. This is Dog.
Sad eyed Chloe says u mad?
It’s my downfall when
another boy has a balloon.
Some men just want to watch
the world burn, but Salt-bae
knows that feeling bro’.
I came out to have a good time
and I’m honestly feeling
so attacked right now.
When you use thus in a poem
you give hipster Ariel a neckbeard.
I live turtle and blue ivy on the balcony.
‘You must be new here.
What if I told you I will find you
and I will kill you?’ ‘Come at me ‘bro.’
‘It’s a trap.’ You keep using that word.
I do not think it means
what you think it means.
Gordo Granudo has acquired
four score and nineteen difficulties
but a wench cannot be counted
among them. Clarence Suddenclarity
finds it on the dance floor, says:
‘if you you don’t
don’t love deserve
me at my me at my
The narwhal bacons at midnight
with Keanu’s conspiracies of ancient
aliens who don’t want to live on this
planet with hipster baristas.
I for one welcome our insect overlords
but McKayla is not impressed.
‘This is Sparta!’ Bye Felcia.
One does not simply
shut up and take my money.
Is a fly without wings called a walk?
That’d be great if you can find
my distracted boyfriend and show him
a banana for scale. The chemistry cat
had one job but to be fair
you have to have a very high IQ
to understand Rick and Morty.
What in tarnation was scumbag Steve thinking?
Fucking magnets. How do they work?
If someone has sex in an airplane
would it count as giving a flying fuck?
Dafuq? Look at all the fucks I give.
The ridiculously photogenic guy
does the Harlem Shake to roll safe
and gets his family a cameo on
their favourite tv show.
It’s a third world success
but they see me rollin’ they hatin’.
Emagerd that escalated quickly.
Image: Sergiu Bacioiu / flickr