A seagull covered in curry


Like Ukraine as protesters sing “April Sun in
Cuba” to ScoMo on first day of campaign trail
& Albo says: This talk about revolution is going
a little too far & Amazon CEO says workers are
“better off” without a union & the Washington Post
says: How to Recognize Gaslighting and Respond
to it & the wrong Amazon is burning & a bday cake
says: CONGRATS ON THE ADHD DIAGNOSIS &
adhd is like: i am aware of everything within ten miles
(i can feel my bones) if i do not tap my fingers i will
die, my brain cells are vibrating & autism is like: sitting
by my computer eating sausage with Wikipedia
opened to “sausage” & being labelled as a gifted
kid is like: “Veterinarians treat ‘exotic’ bird, realise
it’s just a seagull covered in curry” & Perrotet says
he looked anxiously dapper in a Nazi outfit at
21st birthday / more to come & MGMT is like:
Whoever keeps posting Karl Marx quotes on the
break room bulletin needs to stop & straight
people when they realise they have biceps instead
of heteroceps & anarchists when they realise
it’s called the prostate & comrades say: Don’t
get arrested this Invasion Day & Baudrillard
is like: Every post on the internet is a call for help &
a UWU warehouse worker says: My coworkers and
I produce $3,000,000 worth of goods every year, the
materials and utilities cost $800,000, the tools
cost $200,000 and all of us combined get paid $500,000
which means that there’s $1,500,000 being paid to someone
who didn’t contribute to the work at all & a non-unionised
worker is like: My screens today were not good, so I’d like
to watch something on the big screen in our house while using
a smaller screen & Greta Thunberg in the club says: You
hot like our dying planet & Frodo be like: i am totally
adventurepilled / i’m in my fellowship arc / i’m basically
questmaxxing but with a shirecore aesthetic & my parents
in their 20s: Let’s buy a house and have a baby vs me in
my 20s: sure wish they hadn’t, I gotta be at work in an hour
& a waitress says: Oh, table 6 needs a lobster right now? Grow
up. / Oh, you’re having a bad time, so am I & millennials again
are like we watched 2000 people die on live tv and things have
never gotten better, we had our Cheez TV ruined by 9/11 & Gen Z
gonna be like: What’s a cheese tv? u no goating u got no riz & growing
to be uncool like your parents is like fire in an El Niño economy 
& the TEAL parents are like: The planet is dying, let’s do something,
then they, like, drop a slur and capital gain more property.

Niko Chlopicki

Niko Chlopicki currently resides on unceded Gadigal land, works as a lifeguard, and is a member of the United Services Union. He completed his Honours in Creative Writing at University of Wollongong in 2019. He has publications in Marrickville Pause, Subbed In, Plumwood Mountain and Cordite.

More by Niko Chlopicki ›

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