The cartoonist Lofo has illustrated Overland for yonks. He also writes verse, as below:

Why I like Melbourne:A very old-fashioned poem

You’ll find no shark
In Noble Park,
It’s too far from the sea.
Snakes do not kill
In Yarraville
(another place to be).

And if you fear
The grizzly bear,
The tiger and the lion,
You safely go
To Ivanhoe
And find a bed to lie on.

Or you may dread the octopus,
The rhino or the nozerus,
The red-hot flowing lava,
The elephant,
The fire-ant –
You’re safe in Balaclava.

No killer whale
In Armadale,
No giant anaconda,
No poisonous frogs,
Nor falling logs,
You’re good in Moonee Ponda.

No giant beast
In Richmond East,
No ape and no hyena,
No killer bee
In Ripponlea.
Sleep tight in Murrumbeena.

And when your favorite aunt is dead,
‘Cause giant bats have killed her,
You can be reasonably sure
It wasn’t in St. Kilda.

Jeff Sparrow

Jeff Sparrow is a writer, editor, broadcaster and Walkley award-winning journalist. He is a former columnist for Guardian Australia, a former Breakfaster at radio station 3RRR, and a past editor of Overland. His most recent book is a collaboration with Sam Wallman called Twelve Rules for Strife (Scribe). He works at the Centre for Advancing Journalism at the University of Melbourne.

More by Jeff Sparrow ›

Overland is a not-for-profit magazine with a proud history of supporting writers, and publishing ideas and voices often excluded from other places.

If you like this piece, or support Overland’s work in general, please subscribe or donate.


Related articles & Essays