Published 4 March 201011 March 2010 · Main Posts Free Maxine Beneba Clarke Free adj. fre•er, fre•est 1. Not imprisoned or enslaved; being at liberty. 2. Not controlled by obligation or the will of another. 3. Not affected or restricted by a given condition or circumstance. 4. Unconstrained; unconfined. Setting: exit to Melbourne Central Station, January 28, 2010. Spruiker one: Chocolate, free chocolate. Do you want a free chocolate? (holding it out to me with an enticing smile) Me: Is this a dream? Spruiker one: (Smiling) No Me: Okay then, I’ll have some free chocolate please Spruiker two: (holds out a leaflet) Me: (holds out hand toward Spruiker one for the sweet chocolate treat) Spruiker two: Would you like to take a pamphlet? Me: No thanks Spruiker one: Take a pamphlet Me: I don’t want a pamphlet. Spruiker two: C’mon, we’re almost out Me: I thought you were giving away free chocolate Spruiker one: (looking around nervously) We are Me: Except I have to take a pamphlet to get one Spruiker two: (looking relieved that I finally got it) Yeah Me: I don’t want a pamphlet, I just want the chocolate thanks Spruiker one: (starting to get defensive) Just take a pamphlet. You don’t even have to read it. Me: (setting down my gym bag on the pavement and settling in for the argument) I don’t want a pamphlet. Spruiker one: How do you know, you haven’t even looked at one Me: I don’t have to look – I don’t like pamphlets. Spruiker two: (irritated) Whatever. Me: Sorry, you said you were giving away free chocolate. Now you’re telling me I only get a chocolate if I take one of those pamphlets. Spruiker one: So? Me: Well, it’s just that that’s not actually free, is it? Spruiker two: It is free. You don’t have to pay for it. Me: Well, no, that’s not free actually: it’s conditional. I have to do something you want me to do before I get a chocolate Spruiker one: Are you serious? If you want a chocolate, just take a pamphlet. Otherwise go away. Me: I don’t want a pamphlet. I want free chocolate. You just made my day by standing there yelling out that there was free chocolate available, and now I find out it was all a ploy to get me to take some kind of propaganda I don’t even want or need. Spruiker one & two: (look at me, perplexed). Me: Are you familiar at all with the Trade Practices Act? Spruiker one: What are you talking about? Me: Are you familiar with the dictionary? Maxine Beneba Clarke Maxine Beneba Clarke is an Australian author and slam poet of Afro- Caribbean descent. Her short fiction collection Foreign Soil won the 2015 ABIA Award for Best Literary Fiction and the 2015 Indie Award for Best Debut Fiction, and was shortlisted for the Stella Prize. Her memoir, The Hate Race, her poetry collection Carrying the World, and her first children’s book, The Patchwork Bike, will be published by Hachette in late 2016. More by Maxine Beneba Clarke › Overland is a not-for-profit magazine with a proud history of supporting writers, and publishing ideas and voices often excluded from other places. If you like this piece, or support Overland’s work in general, please subscribe or donate. Related articles & Essays 8 November 20248 November 2024 · Poetry Announcing the final results of the 2024 Nakata Brophy Prize for Young Indigenous Writers Editorial Team After careful consideration, judges Karen Wyld and Eugenia Flynn have selected first place and two runners-up to form the final results of this year’s Nakata Brophy Prize! 4 October 202418 October 2024 · Main Posts Announcing the Nakata Brophy Prize for Young Indigenous Writers 2024 longlist Editorial Team Sponsored by Trinity College at the University of Melbourne and supporters, the Nakata Brophy Prize for Young Indigenous Writers, established in 2014 and now in its ninth year, recognises the talent of young Indigenous writers across Australia.
