Was it an hour, this premiere episode? It felt unending, progressively folding in on itself like an origami of self-seriousness. True Detective season two's premiere is stodgy and heavy-handed to the point of oafishness. It plays something like an end-of-times prophecy for slow crime; the whole thing is so done that any genuine new entry to the genre feels like a satire. True Detective is its own comedy sketch.